Canis Lupis is the most feared species of the Canine family. But is this fear justifiable? I have not heard of very many attacks on humans, but still, if a wolf really wanted to, it could sneak up behind you as softly as the sound of settling snow, and with one quick maneuver remove your trachea.
Saturday March 19th there was the biggest full moon in 19 years so we headed out to the national park to do some camping. I was pretty interested in seeing the big wheel of cheese but I was more excited at the prospect of seeing wolves.
During the day we got to check out some otters at the narrows and we fed the whiskey jacks, but the real fun came with nightfall. With the extra large moon out competing Polaris and lighting up the landscape, I headed out for a hike. The others opted to stay behind at camp and so I struck out by my lonesome.
I had not been gone ten minutes when I heard that familiar howl that coaxes your hairs to stand on end. As soon as the echo of the first receded, the chorus of death began. These were not distant howls I might add. They were close enough to produce a heart rate that would put a Charlie Sheen cocaine binge to shame. In false desperation I picked up a large stick to give myself the sense of having a companion for the walk. On we sauntered, this time in silence for a number of minutes. I was still on edge though. Always weary, always wondering, always turning my head towards footsteps already tread.
Off in the spruce I began to perceive moving shadows. At times I have a strong imagination, but at times I have learnt to trust that so called imagination. I darted through the trees all the while feeling as though hungry eyes were watching my every movement. I could not bring myself to look behind, but eventually sense overcame apprehension and I turned my head. Behind me stood Canis Lupis. There were two together, watching me, as tall as my shoulder, as white as the snow. I was frozen in time, my eyes did not move from the magnificent animals and I stood there, matching my heart rate with the fast panting of the beasts. Once again, sense entered my nervous system and I awoke from the standoff. I turned my body around and began to pick up my pace, not knowing my destination, but knowing that I wanted to get there as quickly as possible. Then to my right, I saw a quick flash against the white back drop. This time two others appeared, as dark as night, twenty feet away, teeth barred to the gleam of the super moon. I began to panic, I looked hopelessly to the left, only to see the white pair, turning around I was frighteningly surprised to find myself face to face with a third pair. I did a 180 and began to run. To my relief I spotted an old mature White Spruce and it took no convincing to get there as fast as possible. The sounds of hot breath and murder chased me up the trunk of the tree. As I clawed from branch to branch I looked down, only to see how close I truly had come to being dinner.
But all was not over. The wolves had located their prey. There was no reason to hurry off anywhere. They began to circle the tree, repeating their chorus of death for all to hear. It is at times like this that you really wish you had not forgotten your cell phone in the glove compartment of your 89 Volkswagen. You could tell the wolves were trying to figure out how to get me out of that tree. Their body language confirmed that I was certainly dinner. As I began regretting my stupidity, the large dominant white female, looked at the two younger black wolves and barked a quick order. At that the two left, leaving the four to guard my escape.
I must have logged half an hour in that tree but it was certainly the slowest half hour I have ever passed. Chronos Greek God of time had replaced the sands of Hydra in his hour glass with Alberta’s tar sand. As I sat there mentally preparing a last will and testament, I heard that familiar howl which signaled the return of the two younger wolves. With inquisitiveness, I heralded their return. Where had they gone? Are more returning? Suddenly I could see them once again. As powerful as ever they entered my line of sight but this time it looked as if the one on the right were carrying something on his back. Sure as shit, this wolf had returned with the means to manufacture my demise. As they neared the tree I could see that he was carrying another animal atop his shoulder. I could make out a head and a tail, but it was certainly not another wolf. The moon may have been bright but at that distance the false light adopted shapes and not details. Then as the wolf reached the tree, I saw what my fate had in store. I was doomed. The likes of JeffM would be no more. My bones would build the broth of a homo sapien stew. My fears were confirmed…. The wolves had brought a beaver to chop down the tree.
April Fools!
